Yer a hazard, Harry! [ferribitch]
I. AM. FUCKING. DEAD.
don’t buy your girl flowers. flowers die. buy her a potted cactus
"We are all, everyone in this room, so fortunate."
FUCKING QUEEN. SHE UNDERSTANDS HER PRIVILEGE AND SHINES LIGHT ON LESS PRIVILEGED PEOPLE.
my goal in life is to make chris evans laugh while standing within arm’s reach of him
you know why
it feels like the right time to bring this post back.
bisexual people aren’t more likely to cheat in relationships but we are more likely to cheat at cards, while lesbians are most likely to cheat at jenga, and genderqueer people often cheat at mario kart
how the fuck do you cheat at jenga
ask a lesbian
this is never not funny
when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank
they’re married now
listen, son. if there was really a monster in your closet this would be a huge new discovery. honestly you getting mauled would be pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things if you think about it